This section is primarily geared for Nike veterans, but
can be appreciated by all who stroll through. Some of the statements may puzzle
a non-vet, but rest assured, they're funny. Duties on a Nike missile site were
no nonsense, taken seriously, and mistakes were not tolerated. Yet there always
is a time to stop and reflect, and yes, put a bit of humor to it.
ACQ OPERATOR: "...AND YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT TROUBLES"
(Mug reads "HELP THE BLIND")
COMPUTER OPERATOR: "WELL, NOBODY'S PERFECT"
MTR OPERATOR: "NOW LET ME SEE, IS IT ELEVATION-AZIMUTH-RANGE OR AZIMUTH-RANGE-ELEVATION OR RANGE.........."
TTR OPERATOR: "KEEP YER SHIRT ON BCQ, I'VE ONLY GOT THREE HANDS"
RADAR MAINTENANCE: "STAND BACK, I'LL FIX IT"
Cartoon contributed by Jon W. Roy.
About the preceeding five cartoons:
Several years ago the Nike Historical Society received a cartoon, "Acq Operator", from Jon W. Roy. More recently, SFC Frank Miller sent 5 cartoons, including "Acq Operator", which were forwarded to us by Ted Swanson,
in a series of what Frank said were six Nike Personal Cartoons. Frank says the missing cartoon is "Battery Control Officer". The author and artist of the cartoons appears to
be Bob Matlick. From my search of the internet it appears that Matlick died in 1985. -Ron
From Ted Swanson: Possible artist?? Lt. Col. Robert Matlick - Deputy Commander – The School Brigade – Ft. Bliss, TX
Air Defense Magazine 1982 pg 27
On your Nike site (Nike Humor page) you have a cartoon of an acq-operator.
You might know that there are more cartoons like this.
I have included them in the attachments. [These are the best copies we've received and the ones we've posted on NikeMissile.org. -Ron]
I can't remember where I took these pictures of A4-posters on the wall. I
believe it was on the Namfi shooting range on Creta (Greece). The creator of
these cartoons is Mslick as far as I can see. [Believed to be Matlick. -Ron]
Maybe you can include them on your site.
IFC Radar/computer technician (226) on RNLAF 220Squadron Nike Hercules site
in Schöppingen Germany (1969-1972)
*From:* HERBERT SIEGEL
*Sent:* Saturday, March 28, 2015 9:31 AM
*Subject:* Re: Computer Operator - Nike - Cartoon
These pictures look like the ones drawn by Col Bob Matlick from
his book at C&GS. I have the book and just can not find it. I
know it is in this house somewhere. The signature on the picture
(note: the “Brain Power” is supplied by “Tubes” – not by transistors ! ) (yep – that dates it)
I thought it is suppose to be warm here!
I told you not to play with it! I just hope we can find all
The chairs are for the "In-Flight" mechanic.
Honest sarge! The ditch was straight when we dug it!
I tell ya! All we have to do is push it a little bit.
No I'm not the gate guard. I'm here to guard the dirty snow.
What's a photographic flame producing device anyway?
Okay. Shirts get the ball first. The missile is out of bounds.
Maybe it's a bowling ball bag!
Not only does it go round and round, but it catches birds!
I don't know! I was here on a tour when someone yelled
"Blazing Pies", or something like that. Then everyone ran in there and I haven't
seen them since!
Still can't find all the parts from last time!
Yes sir, you're right! There was a missile on that rail this
The Launcher Area is down in the valley. Uh, hold that
A true "in-flight" mechanic!
There are to be NO photos taken inside the vans!
And I'll repeat it if your didn't understand. There are to be
NO photos taken inside the vans.
Just as long as everyone is clear on the photo taking thing.
Remember! I don't want to repeat myself.
Oh, and by-the-way. This includes no photos of the launching
Private! How many times do I have to tell you. You can't swan
dive into the motorpool!
Of course, life on a Nike site isn't all that bad. For instance,
there are plenty of recreational activities for the soldier to explore. The golf
course presents a daily challenge and is rated at a par 72. One could play
either the front or back nine for a quick round, or take on the entire 18 holes.
Carts are provided at a nominal fee and E-3s and below are always available to
caddy. One must be careful, though, not to hold any clubs over their head for too
long, since they do tend to attract RF energy, should the radars be on. Some
golfers have complained of their clubs becoming extremely warm on the 9th and
18th holes. In the winter months, cross country skiing takes the place of golf
and there is always duck and goose to challenge the hunter in our one acre pond.
To set the mood the entrance to the site is a tree lined lane, which compliments
the surroundings. Valet service is available for a nominal fee.
Hello, General Smith. Huh, yeah, this, this is Captain
Jenkins. We sort of have a small problem here. Don't know how it really
happened, but we sort of, well, sort of launched a missile. Yes sir, I know
that's not too good, but that's really not the real problem. Well, you
see sir, we can't stop it! That's correct sir, it won't self-destruct! Well
don't get mad at me sir, I didn't build it! Where's it going? Well sir, it's
sort of going in circles, then up and down, you know! Well it was an
accident sir. I really didn't mean to fire it! I must of pressed too hard on the
switch. The warhead sir! Well that's really what I wanted to talk to your about.
You do have a sense of humor, don't you sir.
I thought the booze was for after SNAP!
All this and I still can't get Howdy Doody!
It's not that my jacket is buttoned wrong. It's that my right
shoulder is higher than my left!
Somewhere it's got to tell me how I turn this thing on!
The good! The bad! And the real ugly!!!!!
Why are we so happy?
I told them it wouldn't fit!
One day in the future someone will look at this picture and
wonder what the beer can was doing on my desk and whether or not I was drinking
it. Actually, I was just sitting here polishing my brass.
Pocket what? I never play that!.
My job is to keep the rats from chewing through the cables!
Ah! The college dorms!
That's right! I pushed it up there myself!
Why am I so happy????
I told him not to eat that fish.
LAND HO! What do you mean land ho! I'm in the Army not the
Before and after. Okay! Which one is before and which one is
They help keep the moagies away!!
And I thought it was horse meat they were feedin' us!
They call me, "Boy Wonder."
I can also whistle like a train!
Try and take my Playboy!
How much beer did we drink last night?
I told sarge that there was a short in the arming circuit! He
had to find out for himself. Bye, bye sarge.
No sir, I'm the civilian barber. Specialist Jones gave me the
phone as he ran out the door. Again! He told me to tell you that a Mike-23 is
smoking in the pits and he is out of here! Whatever that means. Anyway sir,
about the haircuts.
No sir, these are not your goggles. They may look like your
goggles, but they're not!
Where's your hat soldier?
The soda machine is off limits
What did the cook put in that chili?
Yep! We play Elvis songs to them. Then we shoot them!
What makes you think I rode in on it?
This is my Christmas Tree. Get you own!
The sarge says if I'm good. he'll give me bullets!
That's right! I shot this tree.
Gee! I hope they invent radar soon!